Understanding Women (a little bit) Part 3

27 July 2009
Posted in Dating 101

Image courtesy of Corie Howell

Now, onto the third and final part where we’ll be covering the final attribute of wealth along with the highly desirable congruence factors that will really transform your dating success over night.

This is a continuation post. You can read the other parts from –

• Part 1
• Part 2

Wealth

Wealth doesn’t always mean money. It means having access to resources. Thousands of years ago, a man would be seen has wealthy if he has a hidden store of food. But, today generally it is scoped by money.

Financial security is critical to evolutionary success. Men are predisposed to accumulate wealth, even if they already have plenty. Men tend to feel uncomfortable if they do not have financial security, so they are driven to get it. Women desire this attribute because the more resources the man has access to the greater chances that their children will have greater access to resources for them to thrive.

Also an important fact to remember is that being on the road to wealth is the same as having wealth. Most women would see a medical student’s prospect to be as good as an already established doctor.

This is a critical piece of advice, so do not skip. You MUST NOT resent women for this. This is a hardwired preference that stems from generations of evolution that drives women to seek wealthy men not by choice but as a way to safe guard future generations of their genes. Do not resent women for this attribute.

Understanding this Characteristic

• Men have been tempting women with wealth since the beginning of time. Displays of wealth should be subtle and normal, nothing over the top.
• Some displays of wealth, such as expensive sports cars can be a great turn off since they are normally considers to be ‘compensating’ for an insecurity they have.
• Don’t worry if you are not rich; just don’t look like you’re struggling. Never talk about financial difficulties or borrowing money and don’t make a big deal about expenses.

Extra tips

• Women look for consistency with wealth. A man at a VIP table wearing bad clothes isn’t seen as a man with wealth, rather a man with a spending problem.
• If you don’t have wealth, the next big thing is the potential for it. Show you have a plan, and you are following that plan. Being on a purpose is a great way to show this off.

If you’ve got the attributes sorted (status and wealth) it shows you live an exciting life and you can provide great value for anyone, especially her and possible children.

The next step is to cover the final step of points called congruence. Congruence is one of the most important areas, if not the most important. It’s important because people can go against their own evolutionary programming and effectively do the opposite to what they’re programmed to do.

Having congruence is the final key needed to unlock the fort Knox of dating potential since it’s the ability to ‘look’ like you’ve got everything or nothing.

Here’s the list again –

Foundations –

• · Health
• · Social Intuition
• · Humour

Attributes –

• · Status
• · Wealth

Congruence –

• Pre-selected
• Challenging
• Confident

The points with lines through have been covered in part one and part two of this series. If you missed any, I suggest you go back and check them out before continuing.

Congruence

A basic definition of congruence would to have an internal consistent personality. For example, if you are confident you will walk with confidence and use confidence gestures and voice tones.

Women meet many men daily who show some interest in them. Many men exaggerate or only show the ‘good’ side when they do this, so women need a way to find out if what they are seeing is faked or not. This is where congruence comes in. If you are congruent with what you are saying, you will pass the test. If you are not, she’ll know and she will fail you and fail you hard.

One of the first things a woman does is look for congruence. If they can’t find it, they won’t be interested in you at all. You may say you are the richest person in the world, but if you don’t play the part of the richest person in the world, you may seem incongruent.

For women to understand congruence they split it into 3 traits. They are pre-selection, challenging and confidence. If you can show these qualities to women, especially desirable women – you will fulfil every evolutionary attraction list she may hold.

Confidence

Confidence! I’m sure you hear that word a lot when reading material such as this to improve your chances with women. That’s because confidence is important, whether you like it or not. Can you drive? If so, do you remember your first driving lesson? There’s a good chance you believed the chance of you driving great the first time was slim, so you drove slow and cautiously. You hoped nothing happened out of the ordinary, encase you couldn’t handle it.

Now think about driving today, easy right? How easy is it? You can probably listen to music, answer a phone or even read this post with complete confidence knowing you can probably handle whatever comes your way.

The exact same thing is true for men who are confident with women. He’s basically saying he can do whatever he wished and still have complete confidence knowing he can handle whatever the women throws at him in terms of tests.

The reason why women love confidence is because it makes them feel good when they are around a confident man. They know they will be safe and that he can handle any situation that comes up. When you are confident, it shows through your body language. That means you can actively fake confidence by imitating the body language of a confident man.

By imitating you are effectively making yourself confident since your mind will align with your body language and make you feel more confident. Try relaxing your shoulders, dropping your arms away from your chest and having your legs open. These gestures show dominance and confidence since you are leaving your vital areas open to an easy attack. It’s like saying “Bring it on, you haven’t got the balls”. That’s exactly how women will perceive it.

Another reason why women love confidence is because it’s correlated to success. Over time confidence was observed to be the best trait for having a successful survival chance, therefore women developed inner mechanisms to desire it. That’s still true in today’s world.

Understanding this Characteristic

• Confidence is best developed by achieving things that can be counted. Such as improving a 100lb bench press to a 110lb. It’ll improve your confidence because it is something you can see.

Extra tips

• Don’t be arrogant. A lot of men fall into this trap, me in included. People who talk about how great they are at a certain thing (even if they are great at it) are deemed greatly insecure by other people. So avoid this at all costs.

Pre-Selection

Women know that if other women are attracted to a man (pre-selection) that he’s something to be desired. While many tastes differ, many women still want the same basic core qualities and many of these can be achieved simply by looking to see if he is pre-selected by other women.

Pre-selection is a great thing, but should only be used in moderation. Let’s invent a man who is irresistible. He would have a high pre-selection, but may not be very popular since women would ask themselves questions such as, would he stay with me? Will be use me? Etc

Remember that the pre-selection mechanism is primarily built for women to find high quality men to have sex with then have healthy and successful children with. If she feels he may leave her after sex, she’ll be at a disadvantage and will therefore be scared off.

Understanding this Characteristic

• Never talk about lack of success with women. Even if a woman has told you about her lack of success with men, never mention your lack of success (if you have it).
• If you are enjoying increased success with women recently, don’t mention it. Just act like it’s always been that way J
• Being seen with or referring to other attractive women gives you great pre-selection vibes, because it shows other attracted women are interested in you.

Extra tips

• Pre-selection is relative and in context. Women often are more affected by pre-selection if the woman who is interested in you is more attractive (in her eyes) than her.

Challenging

A man, who is successful in life, generally will want to have an attractive woman. He won’t rush to the first woman he sees and he will have high standards, in short. He will be a challenge.

People value what they have to work for. You’ll feel more pleased if you get a job after attending 10 interviews, rather than attending 1. So a woman will enjoy the challenge to get a challenging man and she sill value you more.

Understanding this characteristic

• Never give off the vibes of desperate or lonely.
• Make her work to get you. Not too much or she’ll get bored, but make sure there is some doubt in her mind before you commit.
• Don’t play too hard to get.
• Don’t be affected by little games that women play.

Extra tips

• Just because she is interested in you, doesn’t mean you have got to be interested in her.

This brings us to the end of my female psychology series. After having read the 3 pots you should have pretty good knowledge about female psychology and how each of the processes work, thus giving you a better success rate with women and dating.

What have you learned?

After learning the congruent qualities in this final post you’ve completed the list of characteristics that women looks for, now you know that a man who has all these qualities will be –

• Healthy
• Socially Skills (Social Intuition)
• Funny (Humour)
• High-status
• Wealthy
• Confident
• Pre-selected
• Challenging

With these qualities under your belt you’ll really have a hard time being single. But for something extra check out how to be a pick-up artist or post your opinions in the comments, all opinions are valued.